And so it begins

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world. - C.S. Lewis

The above, a quote from someone's random Pinterest board, was found alongside pictures of wizards and dragons, Minecraft and the various versions of Dr. Who and Hobbits that I find myself browsing through when idly spending time online.  

Yet it occurred to me that, poster-implied fantasy element aside, I understood the very essence of what it meant, even with not having yet read the book from which it was quoted, Mere Christianity.

A bell sounded; a whistle blew; horns blared upon high –  imagine whatever sound your mind makes when something finally rings true, for that is what I heard, felt.... Needed. For at that moment, having travelled the world – having conquered and created them in my spare time – having created a family and a home, I felt unfulfilled with the doldrums of housewifery and daunted by the task of homeschooling my children.  I desired more from and for myself:  I was unsatisfied.  Many changes have I made, yet none seemed to make a difference.

So I prayed.  And that did.

For those who know me, 'guarded' is a good word in description.  Whilst I can easily talk to dozens from a stage about my interest in herbs and the history about them, or swap silly stories about something I'd read or have witnessed my kids destroy, discussing what I am, and who I am, always feels distinctly uncomfortable.  Partially because I never feel like I have a good answer.  (And having a wealth of self-depreciating humor to rely upon seemed to suffice.) But mostly, because I don't have a good answer.

Thank you Mario!  But our princess is in another castle!

Another castle; another world.  One I yearn to explore and learn about, to grow with and in and through -  one that forgives me for not having a good answer.  One that I am assured will provide me with purpose and all answers that I seek.  But most of all, the peace that I desire the most.

***

I had long contemplated a blog on herbs and homeschooling and gardening and gaming – all those things which are rolled into my character – and those posts will come with time.   But for the next forty days, in observation of Lent,  I intend to share my exploration of the Word, a passage at a time, through my familiar green lens of herbs.   A different herb, each day:  its reference, significance, botanical aspects and how, if it can, affect and improve my understanding of God.  It may not seem like much, and perhaps in the grand scope of things it very well may not be, but I want to use the one gift that I know has been given to me to help me on my journey.  This is my beginning.  As we all know, stories that involve princesses also have endings: 'happily ever after,' is where I want to be.

"And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed ... and God saw that it was good."  Genesis 1:11

"For the land, whither thou goest in to possess it, is not as the land of Egypt, from whence ye came out, where thou sowedst thy seed and wateredst it with thy foot, as a garden of herbs." Deuteronomy 11:10